When Football Players Tweet

When twitter first became popular, I thought to myself: "Ugh.  Isn't this just shortened facebook, except not as awesome?" But soon I learned the real beauty of twitter: getting a glimpse into the mind of celebrities, 140 characters at a time. 

Reading the tweets of certain football players is *truly* an illuminating look into their psyche - for better or for worse.  You learn things that you would otherwise not know.  For instance, did you know that NY Jet Center Nick Mangold hates the following: Justin Bieber, and PETA?

"Is anybody else worried for the male youth of America when they have Justin Bieber to look up to? He just wierds me right out. And I bet he also belongs to PETA."

"The kind people, unlike PETA, at the Empire State Building gave us a great tour. What an amazing view! One of the most peaceful experiences"

"Hey I forgot to ask: did anyone get the iPad? And if so, how do you like it? And no PETA, the iPad is not something to hold women back. Sorry for Apple's confusion." 

"Surprisingly, I'm having a tough time coming up with a contest idea. Usually I'm great at these. I thnk PETA messed with my steaks....... "

"We got a shout out on CBS and SNY for the prank video. How crazy is that? And not like PETA crazy, cool crazy." 

"Also I'm working on a new video ideas for the future as I've loved the response from you all. Not you though PETA." 

Then you have the sort of players who say things which seem rather illogical, and make you ponder what is going on in their head.  Take, for instance, Saints Center Jonathan Goodwin:

"In The mall. Still in disbelief last year I got cuffed at my car cuz this cop thought I shoplifted. So much more I still wanna say to him!" 

Hmm.  Why are these two thoughts combined into one tweet.  Is the mall where he was cuffed at his car last year? Is this the 1yr anniversary of the cuffing?  Let's talk about the emotion of "disbelief" for a moment.  How is he still in disbelief, one year later? I feel like so many more important things have happened since then, that one would think the emotion of disbelief would be supplanted by new emotions/memories?

"Just found a dead snake in garage. Hated it"

Did you hate that the snake was dead, or did you hate seeing a snake at all, because it scared you despite it being dead? Do you hate when animals die, or did you hate having to remove the dead snake's carcass?

Then you have the tweeters who are just plain ridiculous.  Take for instance the Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett:

"@Oprah hey babe I think I left my cleats in ur trunk, call me when u out ur mtg! And what we eating for dinner tonight?" 

"@Oprah If loooooooving u is wrrooooong I don't wannnna be right! *WINK*" 

"@Oprah what u doing? Are we still going to popeyes for lunch?"

"@BarackObama hey bra can u put pass a bill to get rid of the pot Holes in DMV thax! I'm so sick of goin 30mph when its 225mph on the dash!" 

 "Sandra bullock I know u getting a divorce but would u like to join me for ice cream! We can talk about how u feel and u can exhale to me ok!"

"Do yall know if meagan fox has a twitter? I'm gonna invite her to cold stone, then I'm gonna ask Oprah can she buy a Cold stone!" 

I'm not going to lie: I really like his style.  I may incorporate some of his tactics to my own daily tweeting endeavors.  Maybe I will ask him if he wants to go get some Cold Stone Creamery with me.