Football players - they're just like us!

In what is either the most inspiring or depressing story to come out of this NFL Lockout (guys, can we just call a truce and get on with it?), it appears Tyler Lorenzen, esteemed member of the Saints practice squad, has resorted to squatting in the second bedroom of the Saints' backup quarterback and learning how to make low-cost fajitas at home/Chase Daniel's apartment.

Yes, Tyler Lorenzen is one of the 9.2% of unemployed Americans hustling in this economy.

"These days, Lorenzen's idea of dining out is "Taco Tuesdays'' at a popular bar in New Orleans' warehouse district, or the 75-cent hamburger slider special at a restaurant Besh opened in the National World War II Museum. Even then, he avoids soft drinks and alcohol, usually settling for ice water."

Drinks are on us at Lucy's, Tyler.

Men

No comment.

ANIMATED: Heat Vs. Mavericks Referee Makes Sexiest Foul Call You'll Ever See - From Our Editors - SBNation.com

Playoffs!

Now that the lockout is over and we approach the eve of the NFL draft we thought now would be an appropriate time to share our thoughts on the NBA playoffs. Apologies for our infrequent blogging but we have been sidetracked with a number of obstacles such as Mardi Gras, finals, laziness, and rehab.

For those of you not blessed with our sophisticated knowledge of the game we offer you a primer on the current Western conference playoff series between the Hornets and the Lakers:

Hornets: The second most popular pro sports team in New Orleans (probably closer to third-tier if you count LSU) and the current seventh seed in the west. Our star player is Chris Paul, or CP3, as we like to call him, so nicknamed because of his initials and the fact that he is 3 feet tall. We also have an Italian guy and some white guys with unfortunate facial hair.

Lakers: Two-time defending champions. All-star roster featuring Kobe "Black mambo" Bryant, Lamar Odom Kardashian, sweaty Spaniard Pau Gasol and future felon Ron Artest. They are the team to beat. Sidebar: what exactly does "black mambo" mean? Is that just a not-so-thinly-veiled reference to his penis? Can someone explain?

Knowing this, let's do a little role play. Say you are Hornets coach Monty Williams. Your team is down two games to one in the best-of-seven series and you are about to play a crucial home game in New Orleans before you have to return to the Staples Center. What is your motivational tool? Cross-town Super Bowl winner and sports god Drew Brees? Maybe roll out the star power and get the cast of "Treme" up in the locker room? A classic "Rocky" montage?

No sir. Monty went with this instead:



Let's discuss. What exactly do we think is the message here? "Even if you are attacked by a lion, tossed into a lagoon and attacked by another animal , it is possible to survive... And later bleed out. Go team!!!"

Penny for your thoughts, Monty, on this one.

Football Players Fending for Themselves

As this lockout drags out we are now seeing the unforeseen consequences, such as football players doing basic household chores.

For most pro football players this lockout is probs the first time they've had 1) time on their hands and 2) no income. Thus, some players, such as Saints running back Joique Bell, are now forced to do their own laundry.



Word to the wise, Joique. If you are using more than one dryer sheet per load, you are using too many. This is not a "the more, the merrier" type situation happening.

Really!?!

Borrowing a page from Seth and Amy over at SNL, we're going to do our own version of Really!?! here at Lipstick & Linebackers.

Saints 2009-2010: The Move - Part Deux

Back by popular demand, we bring you our thoughts on which actors might be cast in a fictitious Saints movie.

Men's footwear

Now that the weather is warming up and summer is around the corner it's time I address something of critical importance: men's footwear.

We here at Lipstick & Linebackers offer this helpful guide for men of the world.